Innocence Lost
by KaelarKraze
Summary: Sometimes things aren't always what they seem, but with time, its bound to get better.
1. Chapter 1

**I've been on an extended hiatus, but I woke up from a dream about a month ago and immediately jotted down some notes. This version of Spencer was so vivid in my dream I wish I could watch the whole thing play out on a movie screen, but alas I'll have to settle for 'pen to paper' and hope that my writing does justice to what I saw in my head.**

* * *

><p>She was gonna die. Spencer's heart beat erratically and she temporarily forgot how to breathe. Dark eyes swept over her, a subtle move with a touch of barely controlled restraint. Her skin felt flush and she was certain she could die at any minute. Never had she felt so objectified, her ears burned, because she liked it. She was about to die of embarrassment, she was sure of it.<p>

Spencer tried to control her breathing, blue eyes watching from their peripheral as the dark haired beauty passed by her elliptical machine. After what felt like an eternity the blonde risked a glance over her shoulder and was at once both relieved and disappointed that the mysterious dark haired girl was gone. Spencer swore she could still feel those eyes roving over her backside.

With a disappointed huff Spencer turned back to look at the display panel, groaning when she realized that she still had 25 of her 60 minute workout remaining. She inexplicably had lost all motivation to continue and wanted nothing more than to stroll into the locker rooms in the hopes of seeing the brunette again. Taking a deep breath she forced herself to focus; she was being ridiculous, she misread the other girl, she had no gay-dar, she had no interest, her life was too busy, she needed to focus on her last semester before graduation…she was driving herself nuts with her internal monologue.

Reversing the machine Spencer immediately felt the burn in her quads, it was a welcomed distraction. No pain no gain she told herself as sweat started to bead on her forehead. Five minutes later the blonde wanted to scream as the resistance increased automatically, her legs were on fire as she pushed harder to keep up her pace. For the next few minutes her mind focused solely on the hell she was putting her body through. She licked her lips and tasted her own salty perspiration; turning her head she quickly swiped the sweat onto her sleeve, catching sight of the brunette beauty again in the process.

The world's sexiest woman was on a treadmill two rows behind her and three machines to the left. Spencer switched the direction of her feet again and settled into the longest 15 minutes of her life. She spent the entire time planning her walk to the locker room. She would climb off the machine, wipe all the sweat from her face, take a drink of water and calm her breathing, then she would turn and confidently walk past the treadmills without paying any attention to the other girl. No she would smile and nod at her. No she would stretch next to her machine, yeah show off a little, no that would be too obvious, maybe she should wink when she walked by, no she didn't have the guts for that, oh God, she had no idea what she was going to do and she only had a minute left! Her feet were slowing to a stop and her only real plan was to somehow gracefully exit the machine without her jelly legs collapsing.

As she landed on solid ground Spencer snuck a look out of the corner of her eye only to be disappointed when the other girl was gone again. Blue eyes casually swept the gym but she couldn't spot the brunette through the sea of bodies and equipment. Accepting defeat Spencer snatched her water bottle and headed for the locker room. She was being ridiculous and acting completely out of character. She had goals, a long term plan, thinking about girls was not in her plan and sorting out her sexual orientation was definetly not on her to do list.

Comfortable with her lame existence and no longer looking for adventure Spencer leaned against the locker room door, water bottle tipped to her lips she shouldered her way into a hurried brunette. Things sort of happened all at once after that, the water bottle fell from her hand, "oh shit" fell from her lips, and the brunette fell on her ass.

Spencer stared down at the brunette in shock. Her shirt was wearing what was left of the blonde's water, her things were scattered all around the floor and she was looking up at Spencer like she had two heads.

"Well that's a hell of a first impression."


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't have a Beta so as this continues I apologize in advance if I manage to butcher the English language or my failed attempt at grammar and punctuation annoy the crap out of you. Oh wait, insert standard disclaimer about not owning these characters.**

"Whatcha doin?"

Spencer looked up to see her best friend stroll casually into her bedroom and plop down on her desk chair. The blonde looked from the Cosmo in her hands to her friend and stated the obvious, "Reading a magazine?"

Chelsea smiled and looked at the magazine in question, noticing the dark haired girl on the front she decided to tease her BFF, "Oooh is that her?"

The blonde responded by raising an eyebrow in question.

"The girl you ran over in the gym? Did you totally flatten someone famous!" Chelsea couldn't help the big smile that was spreading across her face. Spencer had called her from the gym a week ago in a complete fit because she'd knocked some hot brunette on her ass and then stood there too shell shocked to even help her up. The dark skinned girl found it hysterical.

Spencer just shook her head, trying to ignore the ridiculous smile on her friends face. "No." Her tone was flat and final; she did not think the situation was funny at all. Weren't best friends supposed to be supportive and understanding of your feelings? Apparently one of them needed a new dictionary. That would make a nice stocking stuffer for her soon to be ex-BFF.

Chelsea laughed, the poor girl was totally traumatized and continued to beat herself up over something that was so small in the grand scheme of things, "Oh come on, you gotta let it go, you'll probably never see her again." She watched Spencer closely, she knew her best friend better than she probably knew herself and the blonde really needed to stop stewing over one brief awkward encounter.

The blonde slapped the magazine shut with a huff, "I know and that's the problem, but I can't stop feeling like an idiot and wishing I could somehow redeem myself." She folded her arms across her chest and pouted slightly as she once again thought back over what must have been less than a minute in time. The brunette spoke the first and probably last words she would ever speak to the blonde, in that moment Spencer absolutely prayed that she could literally die of embarrassment.

Spencer recalled the irritation in the brunette's voice when she spoke, "Well that's a hell of a first impression." The exasperation of her statement matched the expression on her face, but after a second it seemed to fade from her eyes. Spencer swore she saw a hint of a smile playing around the other girls' lips, until a buzzing phone stole her attention. The dark haired girl scrambled around gathering her things while Spencer just stood there. Mortified and spell bound at the same time. The next thing she knew the brunette was telling some Aiden guy that she had forgotten they were supposed to meet and she was going to be there in 15 minutes. And then she was gone.

Even though it had been a week, the blonde couldn't stop replaying it in her head. Spencer wasn't sure which bothered her most; the fact that she had just stood there like a wax statue or that she couldn't help thinking that had she said something, anything it all could have gone so differently.

Chelsea sat and watched her friend, she was so easy to read, her shoulders tense and brow furrowed. She was off on a completely different planet; time warped to a place in time where her own little movie played in her minds eye. And it most likely starred someone with dark hair, dark eyes and a really sexy voice even if it was angry, per one Spencer Carlin. Chelsea shook her head and tried not to laugh, her poor friend was so smitten she was never going to forgive herself, the dark skinned girl thought of the Cosmo again and tried to bring the blonde back to earth, "Anything good in that magazine?"

Spencer blinked and looked up at her friend as if she just noticed she was there, pulling herself together she answered playfully, "101 ways to please your man."

Chelsea laughed, "Last we talked that really wasn't your thing."

The blonde's head snapped to the open doorway a slightly erratic beat thrumming in her chest, seeing no one she chastised her friend in a stage whisper, "A little discretion please, I told you that in confidence." She paused before adding, "Besides I said I wasn't sure."

"Girl please, I've known you for years, you may have thought you were straight back in cow town…" Chelsea trailed off when her friend jumped from the bed and quickly closed the door, Chelsea just shook her head and continued, "…but out here in LaLa Land you ain't foolin nobody."

Spencer didn't know how to respond to that. Could that be true? Was it possible to go through life wondering something about yourself, thinking one way, only to discover that everyone else knew it was the other and they were just waiting for you to catch up? Did that even make sense or was she just confusing herself more? Was it possible that everyone knew she was gay except her? She leaned her back against the door before responding, "Do you think it's possible to be gay if I've never kissed a girl?"

"Yes." Chelsea got up and threw herself across Spencer's bed, snatching the magazine in the process. "You are so obviously gay that if you hadn't gotten around to saying it, I was going to burn your house down." She flipped idly through the magazine as she continued. "You were either gonna come screamin out of the closet or go up in flames." She smiled at her own humor while skimming an article on cheating boyfriends.

Spencer stared at her friend unable to follow her logic and waited for her to clarify.

Hearing nothing Chelsea looked over to see her blonde friends' confused expression. She really loved this girl; Spencer was so in control of everything in her life except herself. Grades, check, college plan, check check, 5 and 10 year plans, triple checked, romance total failure. The dark haired girl chuckled as she sat up holding the magazine out in front of her. "Do you think she's hot?"

Spencer looked at the cover of the magazine; didn't everyone think Lea Michelle was hot? "Uh yeah, but if she wasn't she wouldn't be on the cover of Cosmo?" It was a valid argument.

"Okay fine, better question when you look at this picture do you want to touch her?" Chelsea's expression was completely serious, but she was dying inside watching her friends eyes nearly fall out of her head before she looked away.

The blonde looked at everything in the room except her BFF or that damn magazine. How was she supposed to respond to this question? Yes, the actress was incredibly attractive and she was wearing what wouldn't pass for a shirt anywhere in public, the neckline was practically at her navel! Spencer looked at the picture again and tried to convince herself that her only temptation might be to assist her in closing her shirt….if it had buttons…and she were cold…and…uh hell no, that's totally not what she was thinking but she lied anyway, "Uh…no…"

Chelsea laughed, "Okay now try saying that without your eyes glued to her chest!"

Spencer jerked her gaze from the magazine and met dark eyes full of mirth. "I-I…that's…s-she." The blonde gave up and dropped her eyes to the floor.

"It's no wonder you froze up around your locker room hottie. If you can't admit to yourself or your totally amazing, most fabulous best friend that you're gay, how are you going to talk to some chick?"

The blonde pouted again, "But I told you, I've never even kissed a girl! How can you be so sure I'm gay?"

Chelsea got up and approached her friend, wrapping her in a warm hug she spoke seriously for the first time, "Honey, I didn't have to kiss a boy to know that I was straight and I never had to kiss a girl to know that I wasn't gay," pulling away slightly she poked Spencer in the chest, "It's all in there and you know it, if you really look, the answer is clear, don't let the world's hurtful intolerance make you question who you are."

Spencer felt unshed tears sting at the back of her eyes. Chelsea totally just rewrote the definition of BFF and she was the luckiest person on the planet for being on the receiving end of her amazing support. This was it, now or never; the blonde took a deep breath and whispered, "I'm totally gay."

"Your gonna burn in hell!" The dark haired girl released her friend and headed for the door. "I gotta find your mom so we can pray for you."

The blonde squeaked in disbelief, "What?"

Chelsea paused to roll her eyes at her friend "Relax lesbo I'm going to get brownies," She laughed when Spencer tried to look offended and pissed by her antics. Chelsea started down the hall calling over her shoulder as she went, "I'll be back in a sec, keep your tranny panties on."


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so I hope this was worth the wait. I apologize for extended delays as I am writing two fics right now and the last few days have been dedicated to Glee. Reviews are love, let me know if I should keep this story going. **

* * *

><p>If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she never would have believed it.<p>

There was her brunette beauty, surrounded by students, laughing, talking and listening to music. It all seemed so normal for friends, classmates even, but not for a professor and her students, but they just called her Miss Davies?

Did she just remind them about the quiz next Friday? Was it even possible that she was a professor? No, maybe a TA, she simply was too young and too hot to be a prof. Spencer shook her head in disbelief as she watched the group gather their things and prepare to depart; she was utterly baffled by what she had just witnessed.

Spencer blinked when she realized that curious brown eyes were watching her. Shit, she cursed herself and spun around to look up at the coffee menu. Hundreds of students in the Union and she gets caught staring like a total creeper.

The blonde resisted the urge to slap herself in the forehead, so much for her opportunity to be smooth and introduce herself. Not that she knew what she was going to say anyway, I mean how does one casually apologize for temporary paralysis and ogling? Is that a complete turn off or was it possible to twist that into a compliment somehow?

"Do you have a 6th sense?"

O.M.G. Spencer would know that voice anywhere, low and a little raspy; it was so uniquely different that there was no mistaking who had said those words. The blonde waited a beat before turning and trying to look casual as she sought the owner of that voice.

The blonde unknowingly let a pout form on her lips when she realized that the brunette was once again on her cell phone and moving out of the coffee line. As if she would have actually been talking to Spencer, for no apparent reason, except maybe to risk a bath in coffee this time.

"Hey blue eyes, you want the usual?"

Spencer smiled and turned to nod her head at the always flirtatious boy behind the counter. "Yes, please, and make it a triple."

The artsy looking guy with Buddy Holly glasses responded with, "I'll make it on the house if you go out with me next weekend," followed by a wink.

Spencer smiled shyly and shook her head at him, she never knew if he was actually serious, but this had become their routine over the last couple of months.

"Come on gorgeous when are you gonna give in and say yes?"

The blonde ducked her head and looked behind her, sure enough; there were several people in line watching waiting for her reply. Thankfully she was saved by Chelsea's boyfriend before she had to respond.

"Find a new hobby Johnny, this one's taken."

Spencer wanted to laugh when the much bigger guy threw his arm around her shoulders and held her possessively to him, but instead she just gave Johnny an apologetic look and accepted her coffee.

Boz steered them outside, holding onto her the whole way, when they finally pushed through the doors he released her and she let her laugh break free. "Did you have to crush him like that? I was trying to let him down easy."

"Hey, Chels said I had to look after you, just doin my job princess."

Spencer shook her head and smiled, Boz was a huge teddy bear, but he intimidated the crap out of most guys with just a sideways glance. He was a 6'4" 270 pound linebacker who towered over her small 5'3" frame. The blonde looked out across the quad as she spoke, "Remind me to thank Chelsea for ensuring that I become a social outcast."

He chuckled, a teasing deep throated sound rumbling from his chest, "You sayin you don't want to be seen with me?"

The blonde was about to respond when she noticed a familiar brunette pacing through a small section of grass across the open area from them.

Boz followed her gaze and recognized one of his teachers from last year, "Miss D!"

Spencer immediately jerked her gaze up at Boz in shock. Then she elbowed him in the ribs before scolding him for yelling at someone while they were on the phone. He rubbed playfully at his side while still waiving like a moron to get the brunette's attention.

When she turned and acknowledged his greeting, Spencer wanted to melt into the sidewalk. Of all the people on the planet of course her BFF's boyfriend knew Miss Davies and of course she was walking towards them and of course Spencer was wearing baggy jeans and an oversized Uni hoodie. Not exactly the redeeming moment she was looking for but she begged the lesbian Gods to help her say something intelligent anyway. In order to salvage her tarnished image Spencer needed to say something brilliant and witty to eliminate any preconceived concerns that Miss Davies might have about her IQ.

Spencer watched as the brunette slowly walked towards the pair, still on her phone, as she finished her last couple of steps, the blonde heard her tell Aiden that she'd have to call him back. Of course she was on the phone with Aiden, that pretty much confirmed her suspicions, Spencer could only assume by their two encounters and two phone calls, that not only was Aiden her something other, but he was also possessive and controlling. She disliked him immensely.

Spencer remained silent as the over eager boy jumped into a conversation, "Miss D, you've got to hear me spin, I'm mixin some mean beats, I should play your place some time…"

The blonde didn't really hear the conversation as the pair conversed, she didn't really care what they were saying, just hearing the brunette speak without all the cluttered noise of the Union was like music to her ears. Spencer was glad she was wearing her dark Oakley's so she could watch the brunette openly without being caught.

"Spence?"

The blonde vaguely heard her name but she only turned her head up slightly towards her friend. Her movement stopped when dark eyes focused in on her and she swore she felt them look straight into hers, despite the fact that was virtually impossible through her shades.

In slow motion she watched as the brunette extended her hand, smiled and said something. Spencer didn't respond immediately she was so distracted by intense chocolate eyes that it took a second for the pieces to snap into place, she was being introduced! Shit! Okay she could do this brain, hand, mouth coordination. Extend hand, smile, and say something to redeem herself, too easy.

Unfortunately the instant her hand was enveloped by cool fingers and soft skin her brain slipped back into sleeper mode. She barely managed to whisper, "Hi" Before the brunette released her grip. Thankfully the blonde had enough sense to let go, but she rolled her eyes at herself, for her inept ability to remain coherent in the presence of this woman, so much for brilliant and witty.

"So does that mean you'll do it?" Boz was looking down at the blonde wondering if his friend was feeling okay, he had never seen behave like this before.

Spencer pulled her eyes from the brunette and looked up at her friend in question, when he didn't clarify she knew she had to answer or she'd give away the fact that she wasn't paying attention to anything that had been said up until this point. Shit, 50/50 shot here, how about door number two, "Yes?" Was her weak, mostly hesitant reply.

"Great."

Spencer's head whipped around and she looked at the brunette in confusion.

Miss Davies smiled before continuing, "How about after my class tomorrow night, say 830ish? You could just come to classroom 128 in Briar Hall?"

Before Spencer could formulate the appropriate questions, the brunette's phone rang and she was apologizing for having to take the call. The blonde just nodded in confirmation and then the brunette was waving as she left. Spencer fantasized about smashing that droid someday and then recalled that the phone had just saved her from any more of her lame attempts at being human. Maybe next time she could find an app to speak for her…next time…holy crap there was gonna be a next time!

"Boz." Spencer spoke without looking up at her friend. "What the hell did I just agree too?"


End file.
